Last April 1, after 20 years of avoiding hospitals and doctors, I yielded and had myself checked up (iba talaga nagagawa ng pagmamahal haist!). There's this nagging pain in my lower right abdominal area that I was enduring for several months. In the behest of my beloved, I went to the hospital. They took my vital signs. 5 ft 9 inches... 165 lbs... 130/90 BP... add to that the results of the ultrasound, blood chem, X-rays, and every other poke of needles that they did seems to point that I'm in the prime of my life! It's just pain where no one seems to figure out the source of. So the doctors decided to do a something drastic. They went and stick a think, hard, long, cylindrical object up my ass. Not that I mind but I usually reserve my tush for my one and only hihihi (and harot!)
After an hour of enema, half an hour of preparation and orientation, and five hours under sedation, I woke up with a tingling sensation in my behind that felt like the 69 Cosmo bachelors spent they're morning there. Again, not that I mind hihihi...
Another 27 thousand years passed, and the result is finally here! I just have to wait for my doctor to show up and read them to me. And so he did.
The results were inconclusive but finally, a ray of hope, a sign from above, a signal from my behind, a symptom that could be the very reason why I am in pain! At last, my thirst for knowledge was sated!
Then everything was shattered. Autoimmune he called it. Genetic condition he described it. But all I heard was that I will no longer be able eat ice cream for the rest of my life! Oh Zeus! Kill me now!
Because of my said condition, I have to limit the amount of food I consume. Maximum of two cups of rice a day! That's a day! I currently hold the record in our local Mang Inasal for the most number of rice a person ate in one sitting with just 2 sticks of barbeque as my viand! I should avoid eating red meat, which is for someone who detest veggies is like a death sentence. I have to minimize my dairy intake and ice cream is a no no lest I risk of a stomach flu to last a week! And the biggest food "no-uh" are spicy and oily foods (goodbye lechon, goodbye sisig!) Argh!!!
A new diet a new me. Or so they say. I lost 30 lbs (currently at 135lbs) waistline is now back to 31 from 34, and my partner is now saying that a sign that my long lost abs will come to show again (nambola pa!) But I do feel better with the help of medication (lifetime na ito!) and the support of my ever loving soulmate.
Aja! See you guys in the beach!
Irritable bowel syndrome?
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