The Man Behind The Blog (Know The Author) P.2

I've been thinking a lot lately of how my posts and things I wanted to post are about movies and their reviews. I don't want my blog to be just about the movies I watched. Nope, no sir. I want this to be something more like of a diary where I can share a part of my soul, show my inner demons, and hide behind the anonymity that the internet provides.

Below is an excerpt of what's been running through mu head in the last 24 hours. Be warned, some or all of the following things that will be mentioned may not be for general audience.

Here it goes...

I hate myself. More so, I hate what I've become. Every day that passes by, I always say to myself that today is the day that I will be better. That for once in my life, I will be able to say that finally, I did something. Alas, that will not be the case. For the force of my will is not enough to egg me on to improve. I'm stuck in a rut and I am not doing anything to pull myself out.

Don't get me wrong, this is not self pity. I am not saying things to put myself down or to garner any attention from people. I hate attention in general. I just think it's overrated. But who doesn't like some accolades from time to time.

OK. Stop. This is getting depressing. I don't like to be depressed anymore than usual. It seems like writing out the vultures that circling my horrid mind is not something that I should be doing. So yeah, I will stop here about what's inside my deep dark mind before...

But I will say this. I admit I do have a problem. A problem that I must face. And addiction that I need to stop. Do I need help? You can bet your ass that I do. Self restraint is no longer effective so the next step is intervention. I just hope that works. Because I don't know what I will do next if this one fail too.

And there you go folks. An excerpt of what's inside my head. Some will say it's a call for help, other for attention, some might even venture a guess that this are all made up. Well, I guess we will never know until all the cards are revealed :)

The Man Behind The Blog

The Bioman

I'm Red One. A natural born leader. People look up to me. I'm Green Two. I'm afraid of responsibility. I'm Blue Three. Neither a boy or a man but a complete recipe for disaster. I'm Yellow Four. I challenge authority but I never step up to own my mistakes. I'm Pink Five. I'm fabulous and I know it.


The Batman

I'm not Bruce Wayne. I'm not rich but I do play around. I used to be the king of the hill but those were the days of my past. I'm no longer as agile or limber as before but I have stayed just as dark and troubled. A knight in all aspect of pride with a soul as dark as the starless night.


The Ironman

A self proclaimed super hero that is just one lab accident away from being a super villain. An egotistic, borderline insane, half intelligent, half smart, can be seen kissing his own ass, frustrated inventor, that has a prolific sense of humor.


The Man Boy Drama King

I have stashed skeletons in my closet and it's getting crowded with me in there. I squandered and spoiled opportunities. I gambled and lost. I hurt those who tried to help me. I dreamed, loved, laughed, danced, ran, and is stll running from the truth. I'm hopeless. It can't be helped. I am me.

P.S.

I posted this here once more because I don't believe that people can change. These descriptions summarize who I am as a person, albeit more hopeful now. This is who I am.Accept me for who I am. I can't change. I am me.