So What?

I was about to post the continuation of my sad story but decided against it. Though I already typed close to 200 words, I scrapped everything and went with this post instead. Because after everything is said and done, I can't changed the fact that I failed. That I relapsed into my gambling ways. That I've lost my entire paycheck in one sitting. That I've ruined my weekend getaway with boyfie. That, I now have no means to pay my bills or even buy food. Those are the facts and they are indisputable. But then again, so what?

 

So what if I failed?  So what if I lost?

 

At least I tried.

 

Now what?

 

Now it's time to move on.

 

The Sun still shines right? I'm still breathing. I can still fight.

 

I might have lost this battle. But I will win this war.

P360 - Day 006

'Not So Serious'

I spent the entire day cooped up in my room, hugging the bear that boyfie gave me while savoring the last hours of my rest before going back to work. It's been a total waste of man hours yet for some reason, I feel that it's not a waste at all. That for one reason for another, I actually achieved something. What's that though, I do not know. What I do know is that today was a good day for not being serious.

P360 - Day 005

'Sundate'

It's always been one of my dreams to have a lazy Sunday with boyfie. Just lounging in a sofa, munching on sandwiches we made, while watching TV. Who would've known that one of those three would happen today?! We made sandwiches together!

Yay!

Now, if we could just find a place were we can lounge in safety and discreetly, that will be awesome!

Father's Day Blues

I don't have any kids or any people that I consider as my children so I'm definitely not a dad. I'm not a priest either so nobody calls me 'father'. But what I lack in certain aspects, I more than make up for in my appearance. Because even though I am not a literal 'daddy', I do look like one.

I guess it was inevitable. I am almost thirty three years old anyway. Most of my batch mates in college are now parents. All of my childhood friends are married, except for the one who's currently in a cruise as a waiter. He's a little 'special' so he doesn't count. Add to that that I am not good with kids. Probably because I do not like them.

Yes, I do not like kids. Don't get me wrong, I do get swooned just like any regular guy when I see a baby smile or hear them laugh. It's a feeling that I can't even compare to anything yet. However, I do not like to hear crying babies in a public area, or at home, or anywhere in particular. I do not like unruly kids. That's probably the reason why kids doesn't like me back. I don't care. As long as they stay away from me, I'm happy. But I digress.

Anyway, back to the topic. Yes, I am not a dad and probably will never be one. But I do look like a dad already. I have a 'dad bod' as people nowadays would like to call it. I also wear wire rimmed glasses that probably adds to the 'fatherly look'. That's why when someone asks my age, I always answer with a disclaimer - 'I'm 32 but I know I look like 42' and then smile at them.

Here's a funny story. This happened back in 2008 (I guess even then, I do look like an old guy!) I was at Krispy Kreme on a lazy Sunday, enjoying my hot cup of tea, while reading the morning papers, when suddenly, this crew gal came from nowhere, approached me, and said, "sir, happy father's day po!" and proceeded with giving me a free donut. I was surprised but just smiled and took the free desert (yes, I'm evil, I know). 

The following year, I went out for lunch with my childhood buddies at El Polo Loco in MegaMall. When we arrived, I barked my usual orders to my friends to secure a seat for us and to grab some utensils, then I went to the cashier to place our order. Yup, you guess that right! She told me I'll be getting half a chicken for free since it's father's day, and then greeted me with her smile. I smiled back and asked her how did she know. She told me that I was with my kids. MY KIDS! Fine, I'm the oldest in the group but I'm just two years their senior. I was aghast but of course, I took the free chicken. Payment for my bruised ego. LOL.

So there you have it. And to all the dads out there, who deserve to have a free donut or free half a chicken, thank  you, thank you, thank you!

Chocolate Rabbit

As I turn over a new leaf on this blog, I would like to start with reintroducing myself one post at a time. Actually, I had a plan on how to do the introduction with just one post but I'm too high to do it.

 

 

Yup, I'm high.

 

 

I'm high but not from drugs. Nope. I don't do that. I grew up with relatives that destroyed their lives doing drugs so even when I haven't tried it, I can state for a fact that it can't do any good to anyone. Just look at my family. Anyway, I am high. I ate too many chocolates.

 

I like chocolates. But I try not to eat them as often as I can. Sugar rush is a serious thing. Makes me hyper and horny. Yup, you got that right. Horny. Some people say spicy food is their aphrodisiac, well mine's chocolate.

 

I remember one time, after not having chocolates for more than a month, I ate a piece right after lunch. I locked myself in my room, and jerked myself to exhaustion. I think I did it like five times in less than 3 hours. I'm a horny rabbit. LOL.

 

There was this one time, while in the office, the client gave away sweets and chocolates. I ate one and after an hour, I excused myself from the meeting because I can no longer focus to the material being discussed. I rushed to the nearest restroom to release my pent up urge. Only then was I able to finish the discussion. So yeah, chocolates are bad. The good kind of bad.

 

So, you might be wondering, now that I had too much chocolate to consume while in the office, did I do it? The answer is a big NOPE. Because there is such a thing as too much. And too much sugar is bad for your boner. Trust me, I know. I'm feeling it right now. LOL.

 

Now, time to go ransack the fridge for more chocolates harharhar

Boos, Blahs, and Nahs

I've been undergoing some personal stuff and was unable to prioritize things. I'm disappointed with myself yet again. Nothing new there. Oh well.

Alright, enough with the self pity and drama. Time to keep things upbeat. It's Monday after all. Let's start this one with an update and/or a "correction" for lack of better term.

Update #1 Kami Pa Din Po!

Rereading my last two posts made me realize that it was too dark and unclear about the state of my relationship with my babe. The truth is that we're still together. I love my babe so much. Though I have to admit this is not the first time I felt this way. I've love a number of people before. But today, right now, I am in love with just one person and that's what's important.

Update #2 Movies and Reviews

I love movies. I like the way they provide a way for me to escape reality. However, that is not to say that I am a movie geek. I don't know anything about sub plots and what not. I could care less about cinematography nor about choreography. For me a good movie is something that provide me what all movie should, a break from reality and enjoyment. It's that simple. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that to those unfortunate people that will wander here in my own little space, they have to make do with a layman's look at what the movies are all about.

Update #3 This Very Blog

I've made a decision to keep this blog active. It will be my escape from work and my way of releasing some pressure and stress. It will be all over the place but at last it will be something that I can call my own. Hopefully, there will be no transference of stress from the writer to the readers.

Update #4 Bublews

I want to give this pay for writing website a try. I hope I can count on some people for help on this one. Kewlness.

A New Hope In A New Home

I tried to write but writing doesn't seem to like me. No matter. I shall plow on and hope that one day, writing will begin to like me...

A new hope. Ah... hope. Yes, that is indeed the operative word for me. Not just because it's 2014 and the year is just beginning. And no, it's not because I was at the precipice of my existence that change suddenly showed his face to me. Nope. I don't think that it's part of any of those things. I hope because I started to believe. I started to believe because I chose to. I decided that I should take charge of my own life and stop risking everything to chance. I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too fucking blind for all that jazz. It's time to face the music and be a man. 

A new home. A place where I could write. Where I could share my inner thoughts and my being. A place were my mind can rest easy because finally, I can let loose all those words and musings that are churning in my tiny brain. No more dead cellulose. There will be more place for new knowledge now that I have a home were I can bring my old thoughts to. Yes, rest.

Today is the day. A great day. A day that will go down in history as boy who pretended to be man finally became a man.

It is a good day indeed.