Are you happy?
I think I am.
Do you still see a future for us?
I think I do.
Do you think we can move forward?
I think we can.
Do you still love me?
I think so. Yes, I think I do.
When we try to convince ourselves of what we think we should be feeling, and we did get ourselves convinced, how sure are we that we really are feeling that way? How sure are we of anything?
I've read Simon's and Maktub's recent posts. Full of emotions. Full of reality. At least, for them. Does wanting that same kind of reality makes me a romantic or an idealist? Sentimental? Can I be all three? I don't think so. I can't be both.
Sentimental and romantic. Both words I heard people used to describe me. And those same words were used to point what I lack. How ironic.
I'm in a dilemma. I'm in a crossroad. I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm terrified. I'm petrified. I can't move. I can't think. All I can do is write...
Write of the past. Write of the present. Write of the future. Write all the ideas that I can find and as far as the imagination can fly. For with written words, we can feel secure. We can feel safe. We can feel... love.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel.
because right now, I feel alone.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe you're sentimental and romantic in a totally different way but not completely. Maybe that's why people say you are and you lack on both.
ReplyDeleteI was more bothered by what you said "I think" it means you're not sure. There's a hesitation. Look back. Re-assess yourself.
By the way, you're not alone. Your blog here therefore, we're here :)
No follow button?
thank you po sa napakabait na comment. nakakataba ng puso.
Deleteayun nga po ang isyu. may hesitation. may hindi kasiguraduhan. yun ang nakakatakot.
hindi ko makita kung paano maglagay ng "follow" button hahaha! sorry na, ang noob ko hahaha
for me, hindi ko masyado iniisip ang future basta ineenjoy lang namin ng partner ko ang ngayon. alam namn namin pareho na walang for ever. ang meron lang ay lifetime. chos
ReplyDeletekagandang banat teh. walang forever, pero may lifetime. lifetime channel ba ito? char!
Deletekapag iniisip ang future, minsan nakakatuwa, madalas nakakafrustrate. Kaya minsan, OK din talaga yung tinatawag na "living in the moment".
teh mukhang enjoy na enjoy kayo sa isa't isa hihihi
Anyare sa'yo, 'teh? Na-miss ko pagsusulat mo. Yung mga ganito na medaling maka-relate. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I believe that the mind can never truly defeat the heart. You can never fully control what you really feel deep inside. You may try, and it might seem that you are succeeding, but the truth is you're only stressing yourself. Real feelings are not forced. True love need no convincing.
Sepsep! uy, in fairness, namiss kita.
DeleteTeh, nosebleed ako sa comment mo hahaha, ang lalim. Pero thank you, thank you, thank you po sa pagunawa. Medyo masarap ihampas sa pader ang ulo ko sa sakit kasi hindi ko na alam kung ano ang paiiralin minsan.
Ngayon ko lang naisip. Parang ang layo ng comment ko sa post mo. Haha! Mema lang ata ako... :P
Deletehindi teh, nagets mo talaga yung point ng post. Seryoso, ang galing galing! palakpakan!
DeleteGrabe naman.. Dont stress out.. Love will eventually come :) I found my rebound on the blue planet and he ended just becoming my temporary fubu till Cheng and I decided to get back together. Trust me :) Just keep swimming there is bound to be a fish for you somewhere in the big ocean :) Besides that we are all here for you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you friend. I appreciate your comment so much.
DeleteThe thing is, I'm tired of swimming. I told myself, a long time ago, that this is it. Make or break. If this doesn't work, ayawan na. Ganun.