Then And Now

 

I half expected that something will change... that something can change. I was wrong. Or maybe, and this is me being hopeful, I just running out of patient and something will really change, it's just that it hasn't happened yet.

 

I failed miserably in my effort to revitalize my life. Add to that my effort in making this blog exciting was an epic fail. There's no one else to blame but myself. I made a choice, a poor choice, that led to my life being caught in a vicious cycle of despair-anger-hope-crash-despair, that there seems to be no end in sight. Which gave me an idea on how to post on this blog, moving forward. 

 

'Ganito Ako Noon, Heto Ako Ngayon'

 

It will be a look on how I was before and how I am now, bearing in mind that the situation is the same as before. It'll be like, when I gambled before I felt no remorse, nor guilt, because it was a conscious decision that I made. That was before. Today, when I gambled, I felt shame and hate. I still made the decision to gamble but the proudness is no longer there. There, something like that. A point of comparison on a younger self, and a way to see if there was a lesson learned, or maturity of any kind. A form of self assessment, with hopes that in time, I will be able to say to myself, 'hah! look, I did that! A form of redemption, a path to self reclamation, a beginning of change of how I change my fate ends.'

Of Views And Perspectives

Not too long ago, I met a guy named Trip. We we're both bloggers and in a committed relationship and we both wrote about our sexual exploits, the parallelism ended there. We have different approach when it comes to writing and life in general. He often points out that though our blog contents were the same, his is leaning more towards morality and guidance while mine tends to just be that, pure, raw, lust. To be honest, I never really saw the moral in his posts. But hey, that's his opinion so that's that.

 

As time goes by, I started calling him "Master Trip" just for the heck of it. Other bloggers joined in and he started calling me his "Apprentice". Though I didn't plan on anything more than a mere empty jest, I got to admit, I actually liked the idea of being an apprentice. And so begins our mentor / mentee relationship.

 

He thought me how to become cynical. He would disagree, of course. He doesn't like being tagged as someone who teaches cynicism but that's the truth. He also taught me that everything is relative, and as such, truth is relative. My truth may be different from his truth, and so on. Kind of mind bending shit but it works. He made sure that I remain critical about everything and anything. And that every story has more than one version. You may have heard the saying that there's three version? Your version, Their version, and The Truth. Trip has a different approach. There's actually nine - Yours, What you think theirs is, Theirs, What they think yours is, What we want people to know, What they want people to know, What people perceive, What people believe, and What people would like you to believe. He taught me all of this things without actually teaching them to me. He just showed me the way. And for that, I looked at him as my life coach.

 

He also share his views on relationships and his version of what cheating is. Views that I share and agree to up to this day. It's a very long story. Maybe I'll save that for another time. I have a different side of the story that I wanted to share today.

 

As my life coach, he became the person that I go to for everything that happened to my life. relationship issues, work problems, family feuds, everything. We will just sit in his couch, drinking beer, him listening and me talking. It's always been like that. I've learned a lot. He was not selfish with his experience and knowledge. Though looking back, and I just realized this a few days ago, that there was one topic that he never shared with me. His own problems.

 

Today, I'm wondering why. Recently I've been given the chance to be a mentor myself. And I started sharing my own problems with the kids that I'm trying to guide. In my mind, this is needed to appear more human and gain more trust. But it also opens myself to pain and sadness. I wonder, is that the reason why Trip never crossed that line with me...

 

We haven't talked for a long time. There was an incident that shattered our bond. I plan to reach out to him soon. ask him why he never shared his problems and struggles with me. because right now, I'm confused and I needed some answers. and he's the only one who can answer them.

The Tarantino Phenomena

I was about to write a blog about the movie Reservoir Dogs by Quentin Tarantino and how it made me understand the true genius that Mr. Tarantino really is. But then I realized that nobody really cares so I just stopped typing.

I'll just say this though - If you haven't seen it, go watch it. There's a reason why it's called a cult hit, a classic, and classified by Empire Magazine as the greatest independent film of all time - a review I most certainly agree with.

Oh, and it will make you ask the question, why does other waiters deserve a tip when waiters in Mcdonald's and other fast food joint can't have any?

Talk Back Rurouni Guardians!

I've been trying to avoid writing about movies lately. I guess I'm just scared of being called "another movie blog" but what the heck, I already threw my pride away 10 years ago. I should be OK with what people has to say about my own personal damn space.

Alright, now that's it out there, let's begin. 

The Guardians of the Galaxy

Disclaimer - I never wanted to see this movie. I never liked the comics to begin with. However, since it's Marvel and my boyfriend wants to watch it, there's really nothing I can do. If this sound bias, pardon the author.

Movie is OK. I'd say 6 out of 10. Props for the special effects and the comedic script. I actually end up enjoying the film. The story though is a different matter. Execution was left to be desired, acting was alright, and the ending, that lame effin' credit scene was just offensive. There we are, sitting through the credits, hoping against hope that we will see something about the next Avenger or Captain America film, but what do we get? a lame fucking duck! Ahem, excuse the french.

For Marvel fans, this is an OK movie. For someone out for a good clean fun on a weekend, it's a must watch. But for those looking for something with quality and substance, there are other movies out there you can consider watching. Nuff said.

Rurouni Kenshin - The Kyoto Inferno

I'm a Samurai X fanboy. I grew up watching the anime, read the manga growing up, and dreamed of being Kenshin Himura whenever I can. 

The first movie was good. Not great, but good.The dialogue was lengthy. There's too much "cheesiness" where the writer/director tries to force the Kenshin/Kauro love team to the audience. The actors chemistry was already there, plus the "spark" between the two characters should be gradual, automatic, not forced. But those things I just mentioned, I can ignore. The fight scenes were awesome, the costumes and the character actors played their part to the heart. It was something worth every one of those seven (7) times I watched it on the big screen.

The second movie is awesome. I would say it's even better than the first. The action scenes were a bit rushed and there were those parts that was omitted but the details, effort, story, acting, actors, and everything else is just the right mix to make it work. To even put a movie like this as a real life action movie is just amazing. To see my beloved characters come to life is just beyond any fanboy can ask for. It was worth every effort to be out of the office on time just to be the first in line to watch the first screening of the movie on opening day. The last time I was this ecstatic about a movie was Avengers. And yes, it's that good!

Talk Back And Your Dead

Disclaimer - I have a huge school-girl-kind-of-crush on James Reid.

The movie was half good, half bad. Was it worth watching? Yes. For one specific reason and nope, not because James showed those sexy abs of his, but because of the on screen kiss. Yes, a freaking kiss! I waited for it the entire time I watched Ang Diary ng Panget but it never happened! Grawr!

The story was bad. Let's get it out and over with. Based from another Wattpad story, it was a combination of whatever was going on the author's head so it was just that, a collection of ideas with no apparent goal. Too much of twist, turns, and action. Yes, action. I really thought it shouldn't have been included in the final cut and the money used for it should have been better spent with closing more loose ends. But that's just me.

Kudos to the actors. They performed to the best of their abilities. Granted, there's definitely room for improvement. OK, maybe not a room but a gigantic mansion, but hey, their kids and they are doing what they can.If we actually compare their acting from the first movie to what they did here, there was actually some improvements. We also need to give credit to the writer and director who tried so hard to stay true to the source. Granted, the movie would have been better if they improved on the source or used their "artistic license" on it, but nowadays, people who stay true to the source is too rare that they deserve some appreciation.

Well, there you go. A very long post that composed mostly of drafts from those movies I wanted to write about but was too afraid to do so. But hey, I'm not afraid anymore. So until the next movie, see you in the cinemas indeed!

Oscar Fever

If it's not yet obvious, I like movies. I can relate, and most of the time, see myself in almost all of the films that interests me. That's why when it's February I get all excited with all the movies that I can get my hands on. Why? Because when award season kicks off in the US, the film companies usually give "Screener" copies of the movie to potential jurors to drum up some votes for the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards. And you know what that means right? Torrent!!! Wohoo! Pirate mode on baby!

As early as the second week of January, I was able to download the movies slated for the Oscar season. I got the Tom Hanks films Saving Mr. Banks and Captain Phillips that got snub by the Academy (boo!). Then there's the front runners Gravity, 12 years a slave, American Hustle, and the dark horse The Dallas Buyers Club. I was also able to score the underrated The Wolf of Wall Street, Her, Philomena, and Nebraska.

With the exception of Gravity that I saw in the big screen, I will be watching all of the said films at the luxury of my own room. I would have preferred to catch them in the cinemas but budgets are tight so I must contend myself with what's available.

Of the motion pictures mentioned above, Gravity, Saving Mr. Banks, and the Wolf of Wall Street are the only movies that I was able to watch as of yet. Office workload is still heavy so I just have to find time during my off days to watch these beauties. I just hope I'll be able to see them before they are screened in our local cinemas.

I'll keep you guys posted on how these films rate soon. Ciao.

A Short Post About Puke And Death

We watched Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones yesterday. It was a so so film. I got bored halfway through it. The other half I spent inside the restroom puking my guts out. It was filmed "documentary" style so the camera wobbles and shakes all the time. It was hard to keep focus on one single point. I do have to give it to the actors. They were all natural, as if they're really just enjoying themselves while the producers and the director robbed the masses of their hard earned cash. Note to self: Never watch a movie trying to milk and already dried up cow.

PA: TMO rating is 1 star.

 

On other news, I was really surprised and disappointed to hear that Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away. Yeah, it's drug related they say. And yes, we shouldn't celebrate someone who lived off drugs. But he is an actor of a very high caliber. Though I never liked him in most of his film, he is one actor that I know I can banked when it comes to choosing a great script and story. I will miss his acting chops. RIP PSH.

January is Movie Month

This month, I got to see 4 different movies in the cinema. The first one for the year was The Legend of Hercules. After reading and hearing bad reviews about the movie, I had set my bar a little lower than before. Yet I am joyfully disappointed and when I did enjoy the movie in some way. It is very educational. Though I would have preferred more "Rated R" scenes, the way the story was told was more of like those films that I grew up watching in school - more info less impact. Needless to say, if they had shown more of Hercules bulge, it would have garnered a higher rating among critics.

The Legend of Hercules - 3 Stars

The next movie I got to see was 47 Ronin. A tale of both of flight and tradition. I enjoyed this movie more than the first for one reason - Samurai. I fancy Japan and their culture. Plus I do love Samurai X and my dear mother always say that I was actually "pinaglihi" in a show titled "Samurai ng Shogun" back in the 80s. A lot of critics again bashed this movie. Maybe it does lack direction sometimes. But it stayed true to it's plot. That is of honor. Those who are actually not that familiar with the Samurai's honor will definitely get lost mid screening.

47 Ronin - 4 Stars

A couple of weeks passed, it was Bride for Rent that was being screened. Just like what I said in my previous post, I am not a big local movie fan. However, when I was asked to see it, I had no choice but to come along. And I tell you it was the best movie I've seen in the past 2 months, MMFF included. We laughed, we giggled, we cheered, and the entire movie house sounded like a flee market with all of use get swooned by the "kilig" moments the movie provided. Needless to say, that shower scene will be something I will not forget for a long time.

Bride for Rent - 5 Stars

Then it was Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Of all the movies that I saw this month, this is the most underrated. People are bashing the movie left and right. I mean, I'm with them that the change in the time line is not staying true to what the book is about. However, I also think that letting it be more "at present" made the movie more thrilling and exciting. Don't get me wrong, all the cliches are there. If not for the person holding my hand, I would have ended writing a different piece. The heart-stopping actions and the thrills provided by the spy scene are all too familiar. But this is when it all started to comeback to me. It is not about anticipating what the next scene will be nor about prediciting what the person will be doing next. Movies are all about being caught in the moment. To escape to the world that the scene is trying to convey. As cheesy at it may seem, by allowing myself to get swallowed up in every scene and every dialogue, I was able to enjoy every single minute of my stay in the cinema.

Nay sayers will bash. I agree with them sometimes. That's why I relegate myself to watching movies at home. I find it both economical and practical to just download and watch them in my leisure. I was so caught up with being a pirate that I lost sight and touch of the cinema magic. The feeling of excitement, the escapism it provides while in the dark cinema. The collective gasps of oohs and aahs and the "kilig" factor multiplied by ten when you know those around you are also feeling the same way you do. As of this writing, I'm smiling. Because for the first time in a long time, I feel that the magic is back. I can feel it coursing through my veins. And I can feel that tingling sensation of excitement for the next batch of movies on my list for the year.

I therefore declare that 2014 is the year to sit back, relax, and enjoy the movie.

See you in the cinemas!

Survey Says

I like information. Not because I believe that information is power. I just like knowing stuff for the sake of knowing them.

I recently made a "survey" to ask people I know about relationship. I premise the guise as a "psychology class" requirement. Of course, I was just making it up. I just wanted to know how people will react about certain situations.

If you're reading this and you are bored, maybe you'll get a knack at answering the survey too :D

Psych 101 Survey - Relationships

1. Are you currently in a non-platonic relationship with someone or recently had one?

2. Do you see yourself being with the same person you are with now in the next 5 years?

3. If there was someone in your past that you would like to be with now, would you rather be with that person or with the one you have now?

4. What's the difference between being happy and satisfied in the context of a relationship?

5. Are you sexually satisfied with your currently relationship? How about before?

6. What's the difference with being in a "fling" than being "in commitment"?

7. Have you now, or in the past cheated your relationship partner?

8. Would you consider the following situation cheating or not?

     a. you exchange text messages with someone and made sure that you delete the said conversation so the person you are in a relationship with can't find out about it.

     b. you kissed someone.

     c. you had sex with someone.

     d. you fantasize about having sex with someone.

9. Do you agree that people in a relationship should keep secrets from each other or should they be open and have full disclosure?

10. If you are not happy but you are satisfied with your current relationship, would you cheat or look for someone else? What if you are happy but not satisfied?

I made all of these questions on the fly just because I THAT bored. I can only hope that the questions did make you think not just with that you currently have but with what you think you should have in the future.

Retro Post #1 MMFF

I don't like watching local movies. They seem to have lost the luster and the shine of the past. I still can't get over the feeling of being robbed after watching Mano Po and Tanging Ina. And if I would have my way, I will only watch these so called movies in the comfort of my own home, when there's nothing good on TV or DVD or in the absence of any remotely interesting games I could play with myself. But that was before. Oh how time has changed.

December 2013. I binge watched the entire Shake Rattle and Roll franchise after reading Kalansay's post about SRR. That's the first time in a long time that I sat through a local movie. I had to force feed myself in some of the franchise's version because they're just plain, uhm, pathetic.

The same month, I was happily dragged by my partner to watch the MMFF entries. I enjoyed it for the most part. Pagpag was a delight to watch. That opening scene was one of the best I've seen in a local movie in a long time. GBBT's saving grace came in the form of the Diamond Star herself. Naysayers are saying that someone else deserve the acting award that she won. They probably need to be hit in the head to knock the stupid out of them. Maricel Soriano acted with her eyes. The pain conveyed, not with words or shrieks that she popularized in the last decade, but with actions or lack there of. Not over the top but just exactly hitting the mark. She deserves the accolades indeed. On the other hand, Kimmydora and My Little Bossing were a complete waste of time and money in my opinion.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see 10,000 hours or Boy Golden. I heard good reviews for them but the budget and time constraints stopped us from watching both movies.

Even though it was evident that the Philippine movie industry has still a long way to go to compete in the global arena, these recent entries are proof that we are making baby steps toward quality. And now, I can't wait to see what will be the entries next year.